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Don't get people

January 11th, 2007 at 11:06 pm

Sometimes I don't get people....

I have been noticing this for a while now. Whenever I'm asked to go somewhere or buy something(usually Tupperware or Pampered Chef or something along that line) I get two very different attitudes when I turn the person down. #1 If I tell them I'm just flat broke and can't afford to go out or buy something, I get this look of sympathy. They are very nice and don't act at all affected that I've turned them down.
#2 If I tell them that I'm really watching my finances closely and I'm trying to pay down debt, they look at me like I've grown a second head! They act as if I've offended them somehow and I'm the greedest person in the world!

When did living within one's means become so terrible?? Am I stingy with my money just because I'd rather use it to pay on my credit cards instead of buying some useless household item that I won't use more than once?
Honesty, people make me feel Scrouge or something just because I don't want to order a $10 "gourmet boxed lunch"(this happened at work today).

Don't know where I'm going with this. I just sick of people's attitude with money I guess.

Posted in General | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “Don't get people”

  1. HouseHopeful Says:
    January 11th, 2007 at 11:13 pm 1168557208
    1168557208

    I've noticed that attitude too. I think there's a lot of reasons for it, but I know one specific one. A friend, B. confessed to me that she felt bad when I said no to one of those offers, because it reminded her that she needs to be paying attention to her finances, which she didn't want to do. So in turn, it made her feel guilty & somewhat resentful of me. Of course, there are probably many more reasons. No matter what, just don't let it get to you. Remember, you are doing the right thing for you, not for anyone else Smile

  2. marymara Says:
    January 11th, 2007 at 11:15 pm 1168557309
    1168557309

    Dorothy, maybe you will be the one to teach people that you know the right thing to do regarding money. I have to say that one of the most annoying things that can happen to a woman is to be sucked into a "party" to sell jewelry, etc. And I say this from the point of view of a person who used to sell Princess House crystal and I always felt somewhat bad about it. Many people bought it but I always knew someone was digging into money they did not have to buy something they did not want.
    Keep on being a good example to others.

  3. boomeyers Says:
    January 11th, 2007 at 11:34 pm 1168558447
    1168558447

    My friends are of the crowd now where we don't do that to each other any more. And if we do, there must be a good reason, like lots of freebies for the hostess. Then I may lend my warm body to a party and depending on the circumstances, make a token purchase that is cheap and reuseable (like for a gift for someone). It just depends!

  4. tinapbeana Says:
    January 11th, 2007 at 11:58 pm 1168559911
    1168559911

    if i know it's someone that won't take kindly to a financial reason, i tell them i've got so much stuff already i'm having to purge it out. it's true, and most folks can relate to handling their clutter more so than their finances.

  5. yummy64 Says:
    January 12th, 2007 at 01:09 am 1168564159
    1168564159

    Personally when I can't do something or don't want to I just say a version of "I'm so sorry I'm not going to participate, I can't" and don't give an explanation. You don't explain and just keep apologizing and they give up - it gives them nothing to argue about.

  6. baselle Says:
    January 12th, 2007 at 05:52 am 1168581140
    1168581140

    Its funny. Once upon a time, it was simply sufficient to say, "no thank you" or "I'm sorry, but I've made other plans". A polite but firm no worked because no one ever thought that the question, "well, why?" was anything other than rude.

    Now you have to come up with a narrative - telling people that no you can't do/ buy/ give this because ..." All because the correct answer to "well, why?" is "I'm sorry, but that's a rude question".

  7. LuxLiving Says:
    January 12th, 2007 at 05:16 pm 1168622186
    1168622186

    Try "thanks for thinking of me, but I'll have to pass this time." Doesn't mean you don't like them, wouldn't come in the future if they asked again, can't afford it or have too much stuff, but still offers no real reason.

    If pressed, "I just Have To pass THIS time" has been sufficient in the past.

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